So since I've joined the Navy, I haven't really spent much time of myself. My time is usually spent thinking about other people, be it my family or friends at home, or my shipmates wherever I'm stationed. I'm not complaining, I enjoy focusing on making other people happy, but after so long, it can take a toll on one. That is one of the reason why I chose to break off my engagement, to spend more time working on myself and who I want to be and getting back a few parts of me that I lost in the relationship. One of those things was my love of writing. Before I enlisted, I was actually planning on being a writer. I don't know if I was any good, but damn I loved putting pen to paper. I still have all my old notebooks packed up in my boxes back at home and I bought a new one that I jot down random thoughts and ideas that I have here on base. I would sit for hours at a time and just write. I would wake up in the middle of the night, struck with an idea and would keep myself awake until I had everything in my mind written down. I lost that a little bit when I left for the Navy, with focusing on work and school and making sure that I made all my friends and family happy, I never really made time to practice my old passion. Well I recently received a laptop from my family and came back from leave to a room by myself and have finally made time to start letting my creative thoughts flow again. And I have definitely surprised myself. I've been typing away furiously all morning to get my thoughts down and am pleasantly surprised by what I'm producing. The words just seem to be flowing from my mind and fingertips and I really like the way that it feels. It's been a long time since I've just sat down and let myself write without thinking. I'm excited to see what comes of this bit I'm writing and I might actually share it. I've always been nervous about people seeing my work, so I post it online so that I don't actually have to know what people think. I'm no professional writer by any stretch of the imagination, I will NOT be the next J.K Rowling (she's definitely my writing role model) but this is a guilty pleasure of mine and I think it's a healthy one.
The great thing about writing is that you can use your own life experiences as a base for a storyline and add more to it to make it interesting to readers. Many fictional writers use their own personal stories as a baseline and juice it up with more dramatics. You can literally live your life through readers and while they think it's complete fiction, they have no idea that it's actually partially true. For all they know, it actually is 100% truth and the author is reaching out to the world to share what they couldn't tell the people closest to them. It's an odd way of coping for sure, but it is definitely effective. Sometimes it's easier to convey how you really feel through the written word versus actually admitting it out loud. I know that's true for me at least. Writing is the way that I can truly express my feelings and thoughts that I never could with anyone else.
Just thought I would share that little nugget with you guys. It's ironic that I'm doing what I just talked about, sharing my real thoughts through the written word. This is the world we live in now days. Well that's my little rant for the day.
Love from your favorite MA
Victoria
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